Friday Night

To tell ya the truth, I haven't been able to blog my heart out. The zealous, sentimental blogger has disappeared; and now in her place, a quotidian, almost robotic persona who posts just because she has to because she said that she would because she had nothing else to do because she is lazy. I'm not sure if it's even legal to use that many 'because'es in a sentence but If you are observant and just happen to be next to me right now, you can't miss the action in which I'm helplessly clutching at straws, trying to salvage as much of what I used to have. It just isn't right, feeling the knowledge gained and skills honed seep steadily out of my body.

A smart alec would probably say that I should be out there in the battlefield, putting right what I think is out of order instead of sulking and whining about how things are sliding down a spiral towards failure and self-destruction. She would also say that I'm wasting a precious friday night in front of the computer. Before you go on thinking along the same line as my imaginary smart alec- whom I suddenly have the urge to turn into a punching bag- I would like to, in the kindest fashion possible to mankind, halt you from doing so.
Why? Because I'm tired of being reminded that I'm an average in a society where average is almost as bad as below-average and only excellence is celebrated. Plus, there is also the fact that you can't be good at everything. You can love and be good at studies and sports at one point, but obviously, those two don't get along together in a career path prospective. That is why sometimes, it's fine to sit down, look at the bigger picture and whine about the wall of adversities you're facing while sulking at the open windows and doors you sacrificed for another opportunity.

I especially hate and detest that feeling of being left out of something you want to do, but having to give it up because there are options that outweigh it in terms of importance. And when I say "importance", it merely relates to "ensuring a brighter future" which also means "More MONEY". The same "important" tag that doesn't guarantee a happy lifetime ahead is sometimes overused, and thus, becomes the cause of many misjudgements. It is almost as if everything we do now is premised on financial stability and the conjecture that happiness is sure to come along with it. How many people out there can actually say with their heads held high that they chose what they truly love over what is "important"? How many can be good at all the things they love? I know I can't.
Hence, the sulking and whining.

Have a nice weekend, y'al!